Worst Championship Ever?

Week in Review 11/2/23

Author

Riley Martin
November 02, 2023

Did you feel it in the air? No, not the turning of the seasons, the changing of the leaves, or the ever-shrinking daylight that plunges us further into darkness day after day. I’m talking about the magic of the sports equinox.

This past week was the only week all year that had all major sports take place. For all the Harry Potter fans out there, it’s the same concept as the Deathly Hallows, sports are powerful on their own but together, they’re unstoppable.

Also to everyone who said “oh you guys probably don’t even have stickers for us if we get 5 referrals” you can eat crow 🐦‍⬛ These could be yours if you send that share link to someone in need of some SportsBall.

Reminder of all the referral prizes here:

5 referrals = stickers. And cool ones at that 🤪
10 referrals = a SportsBall koozie 🍺
25 referrals = If you live in the Bay Area we will come and wall-mount your tv for you. We have all the tools 💪
50 referrals = guest feature in the newsletter. This is your chance to spread the good word of the Sacramento Kings (you know who you are) ✍️
150 referrals = In this business we call this the grand prize. You will, in fact, get an invite to our wedding next year. First come first serve, of course 💍

THIS PAST WEEK ⏮

History repeats itself ⚾️

In our very first SportsBall edition, we talked about the effect that sports had on healing our nation after 9/11. That piece was highlighted by George Bush throwing out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium during the 2001 World Series to an emotional New York crowd. 22 years later, in his home state of Texas, Bush took the mound again. ➡️

There’s more serendipity here than that — In 2001, the Yankees were playing the Diamondbacks and won on a game-winning hit. In 2023? Same thing. The home team Rangers were of course playing the Diamondbacks, and also won with a game-winning hit. Potato potato am I right?

Official underwear of basketball 🏀

We certainly did not expect to be talking about shapewear for three straight weeks in our sports newsletter... BUT we have more news from SKIMS as they have just joined with the NBA to be the “Official underwear partner of basketball”. Both the NBA and WNBA are part of the deal which comes right after the steamy release of SKIMS Men last week.

One week down, 18 to go 🏀

One full week into the NBA season and we already have some moments to report on. There’s been surprises, momentous debuts, and AI Twitter trolling all packed into the first 7 days if you can believe it. Here are some of our favorite stories:

Dame Time ⏰

In his debut with his new team, Damian Lillard had 39 points, a Milwaukee Bucks franchise record for a first game. You could say he’s happy to be out of Portland… see our newsletter from a few weeks ago for more details on his long history with the Blazers and why he’s so happy to be on the Bucks.

Lame Time ⏰

One game later in Milwaukee, Flava Flav was chosen to sing one of the worst national anthems we’ve seen in modern history. He joins 2018 Fergie at the NBA All-Star Game in Star Spangled Banner infamy (skip to 1:40 for the action).

The Future is Now 🤖

The only thing that can convince us of the AI hype? AI-generated NBA trash talk on Twitter. Now if your favorite players have a bad game, save the harsh words. Just generate an image of them being a truck driver and say “Get your CDL, basketball isn’t working out” like someone did of Anthony Davis after his first game* ➡️

*we respect and appreciate all the long haul drivers out there, keep doing what you’re doing

Over already? ⚾️

The World Series finished up yesterday with the Texas Rangers winning their first-ever championship over the Arizona Diamondbacks (congrats). Does it seem like it flew by under the radar? Well, that’s because it did.

The series only lasted 5 games (Rangers won 4 to 1) with the first 4 games posting record low viewership for a World Series. What’s with the lame showing? A few factors:

  • No stars ⭐️ The championship series didn’t have any big names this year. No Shohei Ohtani. No Aaron Judge. No Bryce Harper. Just a scrappy Diamondbacks team and an above-average Rangers team. No headline-grabbers.

  • Competing with the NFL 🥇  If we’ve learned one thing here it’s that no matter how hard you try, you can’t beat out football for viewers. In fact, game 3 of the World Series at the same time as Monday Night Football which ended up getting double the viewers as the baseball game.

  • Small markets 🤏 If you think about the health of a sport, you’ll find that the ebbs and flows depend on how many “big sports cities” are involved down the stretch. If there aren’t any teams from LA, NY, Boston, or Chicago, it’s a leading indicator that people generally won’t care as much.

Ohhh we’re halfway there 🏈

For better or for worse, the NFL regular season is officially halfway over - time flies when you’re having fun! Below we added a chart of where each team stands with wins and losses so far to get a sense of who’s hot and who’s not so far.

Overperforming Teams 👍

  • Jacksonville Jaguars

  • Detroit Lions

  • Seattle Seahawks

Underperforming Teams 👎

  • Minnesota Vikings

  • Los Angeles Chargers

  • New York Giants

Sure, TSwift has dominated football media this year, but here are a couple of other themes you can pocket for conversation starters later on:

Throwbacks 👕 — The Eagles, Seahawks, Bucs, and Titans have worn awesome new jerseys this year that put a 2023 twist on some old-school uniforms. Check out this Seahawks jersey reveal.

Blowouts 💥 —  Last season, the average margin of victory in NFL games was the lowest it had been since 1932. That means more close games and excitement. So far this year? It’s the highest in the last decade, leading to more boring games and blowouts.

LEARNING MODULE 💡

Trade Deadlines

On Tuesday, the NFL 🏈 had its “trade deadline”, a point in the season that marks the last day teams can trade players. Wait, teams just trade players throughout the season? Yes!

Just like your childhood Halloween post-trick-or-treat candy trading, every party has a strategy. Here are a few sports trading analogies in the spirit of Halloween to help 🍫:

Building up for a playoff run 🏃‍♂️

If a team has done well through the season and thinks they have a shot at winning the championship, they can be willing to give up young, less experienced prospect players to get one solid, proven player they think will help them right now.

Example 🍫: I want as many king-size candy bars at the end of the night as I can possibly get so I can eat them all now and be the king of Halloween. I’m even willing to give up a lot of fun-sized ones for a single king-size jawn to accomplish my goals.

Focusing on the future 🔮

Some teams aren’t ready to win championships every year. There are plenty of situations where mid teams know they aren’t contenders part of the way through the season. They could have one or two really good players they’re willing to trade away for younger prospects to help build for the future.

Example 🍫: It’s Halloween night and I actually have an upset tummy. I certainly don’t want to eat a bunch of king-size candy bars but I have a few in my bag. Why don’t I trade them away for a ton of smaller ones and set myself up for weeks to come in the sweets department.

Clearing salary 💸

Again, if a team feels like they just don’t have it to win this year, they need to focus on the future. If a team is spending too much money on certain players who aren’t pulling their weight and the trade deadline comes around, they try to get rid of the expensive players and clear some budget to sign new ones.

Example 🍫 I just finished hitting one neighborhood and looked in my bag to see mostly king-sized Almond Joys. No one else really wants them and I’m caught in a bit of a pickle because they’re filling my bag, not leaving space for actual good candy. My only choice is to trade them away for next to nothing and start fresh in a new neighborhood.

The trade deadline in major sports is always an exciting time. Big players are on the move and teams get a fresh look at their future, along with the immediate next few months. Below is a look at each sport’s trade deadline based on how far through the regular season it is:

SportsBall Homework 📄 Google your favorite NFL team plus “trade deadline” to see if they made any moves to re-position themselves on Tuesday.

THIS NEXT WEEK ⏭

College Football 🏈

The College Football season is shorter than the NFL, only spanning 12 weeks of the regular season. We’re more than 75% through already so games are beginning to get more intense as teams try and make the college football playoffs. Big games this week that have postseason implications:

  • No. 2 Georgia vs. No. 12 Missouri | 12:30 PM PST

  • No. 5 Washington at No. 20 Southern California | 4:30 PM PST

  • No. 8 Alabama vs. No. 14 LSU | 4:45 PM PST

  • No. 9 Oklahoma at No. 22 Oklahoma State | 12:30 PM PST

NFL 🏈

The last few weeks have been fairly melodramatic in the NFL but this Sunday is shaping up to be one of the football days of the season. Plus it all starts at 6:30 in the morning instead of 10 AM 👀. The big games to watch are:

  • Miami Dolphins vs Kansas City Chiefs. These two great teams are playing in Germany on Sunday, making it a 6:30AM PST start time… Set the alarms!

  • Seattle Seahawks vs. Baltimore Ravens. The battle to see who is the second-best bird team behind the Eagles.

  • Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys. A rivalry as old as football itself with both teams looking like super bowl contenders this year.

  • Buffalo Bills vs. Cincinnati Bengals. Both teams squabbled a bit early in the season but are finding their footing again. The winner here will get a foot up in the playoff race.

Thanks as always for reading. Respond to this email with any feedback you have for us, we always love to hear from you. Have a great weekend while you’re at it!

—Riley and Claire

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